Untold Story (Part 1)

...Nae iyagineun yeogieseo sijakhanda...

...My story starts here...

PROLOG

L.O.V.E

I believe every single person has experienced it at least once. And what about me?? Well... I don't know if the thing that I felt couple years ago can be called love. But, I guess it is.

Hmm... How do I start my story??

*****

I met this guy umm… about 6 years ago. It was my second year in SHS. We were in the same class, 2 Science 1. This guy, let's call him "Babo".

He was just like, you know, other common guys at school, yet attractive. Also, He was a school president. Hahahhahaaa :DDD

My days were so-so. Everything just run like it should be. Nothing special, no amazing things which can be boasted. And then... this Babo came. Once again I tell you, I DID NOT know how we end up as friend, close, real close, to be exact.

Let me think again... yeah... whenever I was around him, it made myself comfortable. Wait...! It doesn't mean I am a girl who likes hanging around random guys!! No, a big NO!!! OK??! Being with him made me happy and wanted to be friend with him.

1 day passed. 2 days... 7 days... 30 days... 60 days.... Bla bla bla.... And... Boo!! We were really close. And I thought maybe I like this guy. Hahaha... Okok. You're right. I admit it! Not maybe, I like him, just as a friend. Some people might think we were a couple, but we weren't. Frankly, I had a boyfriend that time, and there was also a girl, my best friend too, whom he had a crush on. Both of us knew that. In spite of that fact, we're still a close friend. Nothing could change that. Cheating?? Hmm... I didn't think I was cheating on my boy. Our relationship was on the edge. It didn't work as I was expecting before. We broke up, eventually.

*****

 

I heard this shocking news. Well, it was that neither shocking nor heartbreaking news. Really. This Babo guy was going out with my best friend. They were a great couple, As a friend, I was happy seeing them together, but I lied if I said I was really Ok. There was a kinda sad feeling struck my heart. But that was Ok. I could take that. Not really a big problem. Really!! I don't lie..! 

To respect their relationship, I kept my feeling. I also tried not to hang around him as close as usual. I couldn’t do that. I had to respect my friends’ heart, too. I felt a sense of empty, loss, jealousy. But it was still bearable. Later... the storm happened. He was over with her, and so was I (with my boy). It was sad seeing he breaks up with his girl.

*****

 

We spent our days like we did before. We were closer than before. He was the first person who called me with nickname that I still use until now. In other words, he gave me this nickname. Somehow, I wanted he knows my feeling. Yet, I got no guts to confess. All I knew that, he still like his ex. But what about me? He must have feeling toward me, huh?? If he didn't how come he was sooooo kind to me?? Did he like me?? I was really curious about that. But, I never asked. Never. I had no guts to ask such questions. Why..??

Perhaps, I didn't wanna hear the answer. What if the answer disappointed me?? What would I do?? Avoid him??? I couldn't. or what if he liked me? What if he confessed? What if he asked me go out? What would I do? I wasn't sure I would accept him. Maybe I would reject him because of my principle; never be in relationship with a guy from the same school (such a lame principle). And what if I changed my mind and accepted him, then the worst thing happened, we break up? Can we be friend again? Or what if I rejected him? Didn't it hurt him? And he can't see me as a friend as before. What would I do???

*****

A year passed. We were in the last year of SHS. Unluckily, we weren't in the same class anymore TT__TT. Kinda sad. Yet, it didn't matter at all. We still became friend, didn't us?? Even closer now, much closer. Even my classmates were gossiping us. I was happy with that gossip and felt silly at the same time. Yeah,, I felt like a stupid girl because they had been gossiping us a whole year while I didn't know about it at all. Really! I didn't know at all until one of my classmates told me this. And yeah,, I told you,, I couldn't be that angry. Well,, How could I be angry while I was happy with that??? Hahhhahahaaa... silly!! But I was happy. Yup, I really was. :DDDD

The only guy who I spent my last year with was him, "Babo". He always knew how to make me smile and laugh. It was like nothing to worry, because he was always there, sit next to me in the corridors and told me his unfunny jokes. I told him I have a phobia. He was the only guy who always stands for me whenever those stupid friends tried to scare me. He was sooo caring. He always knew how to cheer me up. And I like it. I like him. As a guy and as a friend.

I still remember it clearly. It was April. It was midnight, when I was in mourning because of losing my uncle, I called him. Out of the guys in my phone contact, I called him. I chose him. It was the first time I called him for hours. I told him this and that, so did him. Couple of minutes later, I realized something. He asked me to go out, implicitly, though. Well,, Was he drunk?? Sleepy?? Or did I mishear? I didn't know. But, I guessed he say it. And what's my answer??? Wanna know?? Really?? Ok... Ok... Easy gals!!

I hmmmm.... I was not sure. I guess, I said no. So silly!! Was I sleepy?? No… I was still awake and totally conscious. So, why did I reject??

Well,, because of my stupid principle I've told you, and the fact that he dated my best friend (It's Ok if it's only another random girl, but she was my friend, and I doubted that she still has feeling for him). It sounded like I just make up the reason, rite?? Hmmm... The main reason I rejected him was I was afraid of loosing him as friend. Based on most people and my experienced, it’s hard to be a good and close friend with your ex (in case we broke up). I also thought that way. I didn't want that. I was afraid of that fact. I wasn't sure of his feeling, too. I doubted it. Did he really like me? How much?? As much as I did? Less or more?? Perhaps, he has showed his feeling through his act. But, I was too stupid to decode that signal. I was not sure.

Besides, dating is only for a while, but friend is forever. And I wanted to be friend with him forever. That was what I thought. Also, he promised me to be with him later. I promised the same, but I promised it in doubt. It's not I doubt of him. The problem was me. What if I can't keep my promise? I'm afraid if I break the promise later. What if I meet a better guy in university later, and fall for him? Nobody knows what happen later, huh? I, actually, a loyal, faithful girl. But who knows what makes someone's heart change. I was just a schoolgirl. Immature. So, I promised unwillingly. I'm silly, right?? (Well, out of the time, why it must be that night?? If he asks in other time, may be I'll think it again. But he didn't ask again. Eotteokhae??)

I was relieved he can accept my decision. He didn't mind it. He didn’t try to avoid me for “rejecting” him. He was still my good really close friend. Sometimes I found it funny, we're in love, but we chose to be friend while if we wanted we can be a couple. Silly!

*****